I absolutely LOVE this shot . . .John & I, now refer to it as,”THE GUN” (no pun intended). This picture carbon dates when it was taken, via . . . if you look very closely, kinda Dead Center Bulls Eye . . . I mean REALLY closely, you might just notice that amidst all the Big Guns & Ammo Boxes, somewhere in-between all the Hair Spray, Make Up, and Tough GuyAttitudes . . . you’ll see that the revolver I’m holstering, is nothing more then my very own personal 99Cent Store, Bright Neon, See Through, SQUIRT GUN. Therefore, it would take a Retard to not know that it was taken after my second to last show at The Troubadour, but before my last (different lineup).Up until and including that particular event (2nd to last), I had a dorned my right hip with amongst various other embellishments, a well placed light brown, not to be confused with beige or tan . . . ECKH !!! A light brown Hand Tooled Mexican Holster, that held within, a Starter Pistol . . .of which I acquired at the Magic Shop on Hollywood Blvd. (this set up later got me into trouble at the junk yard, but that’s another story . . . let’s get back to the carbon dating of this much acclaimed photo) Marie . . . was Mick’s girlfriend (maybe ex by then, whatever) and shot a Major Wet Spot in her panties whenever anyone so much as mentioned the name of Marc Rude.Marc . . . was our New Tour Manager, and came equipped with not only a very distinctive FUCK YOU attitude, but a sweet pair of fingerless gloves. Marie . . . had an overabundance of stock at stake in the band, and never missed an opportunity to give Mick a hard time. Marc . . . came to the table “without” not only an adequate work ethic, but the ability to comprehend a very simple phrase “Now’s not the time”. Marie . . . is a Fuckin’ PSYCHO, at least she was back then, which is an integral element in the carbon dating process, and therefore, essential to the plot. THIS, my friends . . . is what we in the business refer to as,  A BAD MIX.  So . . . when Marie comes running up to me,  just minutes before the band hits the stage, catches her breath, and screams “Nickey, Nickey Nickey, oh my God Nickey, you gotta come quick, Marc’s having trouble gettin’ in”, I look at my wristwatch that’s not there “Well it’s A-Fuckin-Bout time that Asshole showed up”, and I quickly follow her out front. By this time, the doorman’s request that Marcre move his fingerless gloves, had escalated into a scuffle, that led way to not the cops getting called in, No No . . . ‘twas the West Hollywood Sheriffs who arrived to save the day. Yeah . . . “those” fuckers . . . ya don’t mess with them !!! Remember the PSYCHO reference ??? Marc’s handcuffed, and being prodded to the back seat of the cruiser (drivers side), traffic’s just missin’ all four of us, OH . . . did I forget to mention that Marie took it upon herself to rescue Marc, and was pounding on the arresting officer’s back, screaming every name in the book “You Piece’a’Shit, You Cocksucker, You Dirty Mother Fucker, You Leave Him Alone”. I . . . Chivalrous to the bitter end “MARIE . . . MARIE GOD DAMNIT”, which only served to focus the attention to myself. Ya see, when the other West Hollywood Sheriff saw me pulling Marie off his partner . . .“FREEZE . . . FREEZE, HANDS ON YOUR HEAD MOTHER FUCKER”, “You Got It . . . I was just tryin’ to help your”,“FREEZE”, “HEY . . .  I’m frozen here, I was just helpin’ your partner, this is a starter pistol on my”,  “FREEZE”,  “GodDamn It, I’m Fuckin’ Froze Already, ALRIGHT, I’m in the band, see how I’m all dressed like a fag in shit . . .I’M IN THE BAND”. Here’s the visual . . .Cars are stoppin’, and then screechin’ away, People on the sidewalk (fans) are like “What the Fuck”,  Shows about to start, and I still gotta take a shit, Mark’s now in the back seat, Marie’s REALLY Pissed Off, Mick comes walkin’out, sees my hands on my head, thinks it’s a joke “NICKEY, stop fuckin’ around and get in here”, “In a minute Mick, go back inside and tell Kirk to do somethin’ roadie like onstage”, Mick’s twin brother Robert staggers up, eyes barely open, and mutters “I told ya not to wear that shit” . . . and all the while, this Stupid Rookie Son-Ah-Da-Bitch-Fuck’s got his Close Range Stance on, and wobblin’ his Brand New Glock, like a foot from my Fuckin’ Head. . .kinda scary, Very Memorable. Needless to say, the band went on a tad late that night . . . and if there some thing I can’t abide, it’s waitin’around for a show to start !!! Aah, Tels etaient les jours va bien. I remember back in The Summer of  Hate, the time I went to see . . . ThankYouVeryMuch, Sir Nicholas S. Alexander XIII, Esq.,a.k.a. Pork

“I HAD SEX WITH ALOT OF GIRLS, DABBLED WITH DRUGS, AND DROOLED ON MY GUITAR… THAT’S WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO ANYWAY !” – Tracii Guns, L.A. Guns